


all the time (sacrifice, and the world turns on)

by cryingwillow



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), also ffh trailer spoilers if you uhhh care about that kinda thing, also i didnt tag major character death but, endgame spoilers, most of these characters are just mentioned so lmk if these tags are too misleading, relationships w these characters are also mentioned but i didnt want to be too misleading again so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 12:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18969277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingwillow/pseuds/cryingwillow
Summary: Peter is well-acquainted with the notion of sacrifice.





	all the time (sacrifice, and the world turns on)

Peter is well-acquainted with the notion of sacrifice.

Sacrifice. He thinks about it in the early hours of that strange place between night and day, where the moon dips into the twilight expanse, stars scattered in the void around it. He thinks about it in bursts, in memories that resurge the more he looks around. 

But, truthfully, he thinks about it all the time. 

So when Mr. Beck sits beside him, eyes seemingly serious and tender and understanding all at once, he bites back the words,  _ I know. _ I wish I didn’t, Mr. Beck, but I do. Sacrifice wakes him up when panic’s tendrils snake around his chest, until there is no option left but to startle awake, gasping for air. Sacrifice wakes him up when he wishes it had been his own, instead. 

But instead, Peter wakes up and he lives on, and if he continues to sacrifice his chance at a normal life, his chance at happiness, for the sake of the world, because it feels like something he has to do—

If Europe is hurtling around the corner, and he knows what it feels like to have millions of possibilities spread out before you, and for there to only be one way it all has to go—

If he is ready to—

_ Everywhere I go, I see his face. _

Nothing brings you back. And the truth of it is bare and simple;

_ I just really miss him. _

But sometimes Peter sits up on the balcony ledge overlooking the city, in the quiet hours where night bleeds into morning, where they exist interchangeably, in a careful, flowing dance. The stars set the sky around him alight, shining on the breathtaking mural behind him. He doesn’t need to look to know you. Sacrifice lives on in the steady thrum of life, of the world around him, where it exists fractured and imperfect and beautifully, gloriously whole. It lives on in Morgan’s lopsided grin, in Pepper’s kind eyes, in the way Happy hates him and loves him so powerfully, sometimes all in the same breath. 

But most of all, it lives on in him. Five years later, Peter finds a picture frame and cries, but then he closes his eyes, and thanks you for May’s laugh, and the way Ned and MJ hold him up when he feels alone. 

He is no stranger to sacrifice, because the sacrifices of others and his own and  _ yours  _ are the reason the Earth still turns beneath his feet.

Peter thinks about it, sometimes, when he swings through Queens, a lone speck in the expansive sky above. But the stars cast their light upon the city, and he thinks about it again, and even when his friends aren’t there, he doesn’t feel alone. He never is. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was like me crying incoherently after the newest ffh trailers took my heart and ripped it into a thousand little pieces so it's.. honestly just me being sad 
> 
> i'm guessing peter will refer to mysterio as mr. beck in ffh since that's how fury introduces him? it looks a lil weird but whatever. i'm not emotionally prepared to watch ffh yet!! i'm still crying over endgame hhhh but at the same time i literally cannot wait for it to come out what a life
> 
> thank you for reading this short little mess, i hope you enjoyed it! <3


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